They say you can’t ever have one person who serves every purpose or fulfils every need for you. You may have that one friend who is always great at giving you advice, you know that one friend who will be great at just being silly with you, or the one who will definitely get drunk with you and that one friend who when you need to be serious they will be right there with you being serious.
I agreed until one great friend became my ‘everything friend.’
She is a soul like no other. When I first met her it was like she was a fairy. Not fully grounded, but not so floaty that she came across detached in a way that prevented you from being able to connect or relate to her. She was fairy like in her weightlessness, in her bounciness, in her upbeat manner to life. This was what drew me to her.
I wanted her to be my friend. I willed her to be. I opened up my social invites to her and hoped that she would come. I felt this pull towards her, a magnetism, I wanted to be in her company and I hoped that she would like me and to be in mine.
We spent many years building a friendship, based on proximity, love, laughs and loss. We spent many a night laughing until we cried and crying until we laughed. We sought advice and solace in one another when life felt too hard. And we celebrated when life was beautiful.
Unfortunately sometimes life is hard and through such hardship I have witnessed such incredible strength in my friend. Suuuuch incredible strength. So much so that I want to write about it.
I want to write about her. Her courage, her humility, her authentic vulnerability, her deep compassion and her utter selflessness. Through all of it, through everything she has been through she still always meets anyone with ‘but how are you?,’ and genuinely means it, often seeming to forget that she was experiencing her own hardships.
I want to write about her, not her story, but her because her story is hers should she choose to tell it, or share it with the world. I want to write about the incredible strength that I witnessed and still admire on a day to day basis.
Often through our friendships our hardest experiences and toughest time in life over lapped. But we still managed to hold each other up. Maybe because it came more naturally or easily than holding ourselves up when times got so dark. But we did it.
She is incredible.
I will always thank her for being my consistency and comfort in a big time of change, fear, hurt and confusion. I will always thank her for coming to my door daily, presenting me with ‘I’m here to give you your daily cuddle and to make you a cup of tea,’ (how very British, I know!) she didn’t call ahead, she didn’t even know if I would be in, she just did it, and day by day she continued to come.
To any outsider, you wouldn’t be able to tell. You couldn’t tell that she had her own struggle going on under the surface because she continued to radiate. To radiate warmth, love and faith. And even when that waived she got herself back on track, she acknowledged when she needed help to do so, she has so much self awareness she calls out her own weaknesses and works eradicate them.
I am forever inspired by this woman, by my friend who feels like family. Even through a change in proximity we are close. Maybe even closer than ever after everything that we have been through.
I am in constant admiration of her, how she makes her way through life even with the cards she had been dealt. For this reason I am beyond happy for the new cards she has been dealt.